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DennisN
Tired Old Man
Joined: Feb 27, 2006
Posts: 14892
Location: Keynsham
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 Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 6:10 pm Post subject: How to win friends and influence people |
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Subtitle - Why I took early retirement
I got a business email just now and the 'signature' included this ...
Respect
Integrity
People
Partnership
Leadership
Excellence
“Cause a RIPPLE… make it happen”
How's it going all you poor slaves out there? Are you getting loads of this K.R.A.P.? Are you all getting into the Stakeholders, Mission Statement, Change, Team Player mindset?
I saw a team statement a couple of months ago issued to a friend. It included some qualities of Good Team Player. One of them was willingness to accept, nay enthusiastically embrace, CHANGE.
So I said, go in and propose a "Good Change" that everybody must now write left handed (on the grounds that some left-handed people are good workers).
Has anybody else got any good change suggestions? Or any of those capitalised word signs (I remember doing a job in banks a couple of years ago and when I went behind the counters, they had masses of these pasted up on the reverse walls where customers couldn't see them).
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Dennis
If it tastes good - it's fattening.
Two of them are obesiting!! |
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GPS_fan
Pocket GPS Moderator
Joined: Jan 04, 2007
Posts: 2789
Location: Hampshire, UK
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| Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 10:12 pm Post subject: Re: How to win friends and influence people |
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| DennisN wrote: | | I remember doing a job in banks a couple of years ago and when I went behind the counters, they had masses of these pasted up on the reverse walls where customers couldn't see them |
I'm surprised you could see anything through those stockings 
...oh, not that kind of a bank job 
In my experience, mission statements etc tend to be made by the very people who are least prepared to follow the philosophies within and if the people at the top don't accept the concept then it's difficult to motivate the people at the sharp end 
An organisation is like a tree full of monkeys:
those at the bottom look up and see a bunch of ****holes
those at the top look down and see a bunch of smiling faces
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Andy
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DennisN
Tired Old Man
Joined: Feb 27, 2006
Posts: 14892
Location: Keynsham
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| Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 11:35 pm Post subject: Re: How to win friends and influence people |
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| GPS_fan wrote: | | In my experience, mission statements etc tend to be made by the very people who are least prepared to follow the philosophies within and if the people at the top don't accept the concept then it's difficult to motivate the people at the sharp end |
In my experience, mission statements etc tend to be made by the very people who are happy to follow the philosophies within, because the philosophies within don't affect them. How many of those people have to answer the phone within 3 rings and say "Thank you for calling Greater Nether Hopping Multiple Horticultural and Geological Solutions and Partners Incorporated, Jennifer speaking, How may I help you? (whilst smiling into a precisely positioned mirror)"
Such philosophies as Change, Restructuring, Downsizing, Rationalisation. Different words for doing things to the lower down people - like downsizing from the bottom up - get rid of 10 lower beings who work hard, because they only earn 1/10th of the money of one of the uppers who let them work hard. The uppers will never be required to change or rationalise - they're the ones who get the golden handshakes, remember? In my former organisation, a new salary structure was established by assessing all staff from written job descriptions - to be a winner you had to have the right words in yours - Control, Responsible, etc. All the lowers were told they couldn't use those words because the uppers did all that. And the whole exercise was carried out from the top downwards, so that everybody currently under somebody could not possibly get upped, only downed and the financing was done the same way - nobody could get awarded more than whoever was above them. NONE of the lower people got any improvement at all, and many lost out.
At least I don't do that to my employee.
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Dennis
If it tastes good - it's fattening.
Two of them are obesiting!! |
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DaveNN
Lifetime Member
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Joined: Apr 06, 2007
Posts: 337
Location: Lancs
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| Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:24 pm Post subject: |
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You guys have it pretty much spot on!
A couple of years back we had to undergo the dreaded phsycrometric testing....to show if we were best suited to the roles that we were doing.
Pls consider that many of the team had performed their role (or similar) for years (over 20 in my case).
Basically, we had a few minutes to choose 100 of the listed words-which best described our personality.
"100 words to prove your're a T*sser" was the general consensus.
Guess What??
The results (presented on a graph in a meeting some time later) clearly demonstrated that the team were (within reason) pretty much suited for their current roles AND that we were all T*ssers! |
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GPS_fan
Pocket GPS Moderator
Joined: Jan 04, 2007
Posts: 2789
Location: Hampshire, UK
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| Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:38 pm Post subject: Re: How to win friends and influence people |
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| DennisN wrote: | | At least I don't do that to my employee. |
To save time, you probably have company meetings on the move in your white conference room
Every day is a 'business lunch'
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Andy
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DennisN
Tired Old Man
Joined: Feb 27, 2006
Posts: 14892
Location: Keynsham
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| Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 11:19 pm Post subject: Re: How to win friends and influence people |
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| GPS_fan wrote: | | Every day is a 'business lunch' |
Well, I don't know about that. He gets a packet of sandwiches and a bit of fruit to chew whilst driving! But nottalot to drink - most things are diuretic.
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Dennis
If it tastes good - it's fattening.
Two of them are obesiting!! |
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mostdom
Pocket GPS Moderator
Joined: Jul 10, 2006
Posts: 1964
Location: Surrey, UK.
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| Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 9:03 am Post subject: |
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I AM one of those a holes at the top and I too had to do one of those 'Please justify your existence' questionnaires. Those folk within my circle of the tree accepted the task on its merits as these things are useful and do work as reverse psychology, to enthuse the staff to look at their own work honestly, even if they do lie on the questionnaire.
After drawing several pictures I realised I had far too much work to do and went home early!
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Dom
HERE LIES PND May it rest in peace.
Navigon 7310/iPhone Navigon&Copilot |
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DennisN
Tired Old Man
Joined: Feb 27, 2006
Posts: 14892
Location: Keynsham
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| Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 3:44 pm Post subject: |
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| mostdom wrote: | | my circle of the tree accepted the task on its merits as these things are useful and do work as reverse psychology, to enthuse the staff to look at their own work honestly, even if they do lie on the questionnaire. |
This renders me speechless. Please tell me it's Metropolis humour. 
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Dennis
If it tastes good - it's fattening.
Two of them are obesiting!! |
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mostdom
Pocket GPS Moderator
Joined: Jul 10, 2006
Posts: 1964
Location: Surrey, UK.
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| Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 4:22 pm Post subject: |
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| DennisN wrote: | | This renders me speechless. Please tell me it's Metropolis humour. |
No, honestly the mail boy felt much more secure after filling out his. 
_________________
Dom
HERE LIES PND May it rest in peace.
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mostdom
Pocket GPS Moderator
Joined: Jul 10, 2006
Posts: 1964
Location: Surrey, UK.
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| Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 4:32 pm Post subject: |
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| mostdom wrote: | | ..Those folk within my circle of the tree accepted the task... |
I'm not sure I'm happy about this, mr ModeratorN. 
Esp. considering I can get my own back in person in a few days!
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Dom
HERE LIES PND May it rest in peace.
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DennisN
Tired Old Man
Joined: Feb 27, 2006
Posts: 14892
Location: Keynsham
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| Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 4:55 pm Post subject: |
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By the way, I was thinking it would be a jolly jape if you and I both did extra ID cards and turned up as xda?
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Dennis
If it tastes good - it's fattening.
Two of them are obesiting!! |
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Oldboy
Pocket GPS Moderator
Joined: Dec 08, 2004
Posts: 10641
Location: Suffolk, UK
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| Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 5:05 pm Post subject: |
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| mostdom wrote: | | mostdom wrote: | | ..Those folk within my circle of the tree accepted the task... |
I'm not sure I'm happy about this, mr ModeratorN. |
It was a glitch in the censor program, that has now been sorted. 
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Richard
TT 910 V7.903: Europe Map v1045
TT Via 135 App 12.075: Europe Map v1120 |
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DennisN
Tired Old Man
Joined: Feb 27, 2006
Posts: 14892
Location: Keynsham
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| Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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Testing, testing. Tap, Tap 1 2 3 4 4 3 2 1 Testing Can you hear this? Flop flip flap fool find fall fink fish firm full fell fill fair fare flog. Sift shut shot shun sink sank sunk ship shop shed sham shim shod.
How's the glitch now? Will it refund the enormous compensation payment I was forced to pay Superdom for censoring his post even though I didn't?
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Dennis
If it tastes good - it's fattening.
Two of them are obesiting!! |
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mostdom
Pocket GPS Moderator
Joined: Jul 10, 2006
Posts: 1964
Location: Surrey, UK.
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| Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 5:37 pm Post subject: |
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| DennisN wrote: | | ..for censoring his post even though I didn't? |
...even though it is exactly the sort of thing you would do with your new super powers.
I'm feeling paranoid now that I know someone's putting words into my posts. 
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Dom
HERE LIES PND May it rest in peace.
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DennisN
Tired Old Man
Joined: Feb 27, 2006
Posts: 14892
Location: Keynsham
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| Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 5:46 pm Post subject: |
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Feel paranoid - feel VERY paranoid.
Just because you feel paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
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Dennis
If it tastes good - it's fattening.
Two of them are obesiting!! |
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